Auchtoon!

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, April 28, 2008

As you can see from the first panel, I think there are much better ways to help our economy in the long-term than sending us all welfare checks. As you can see in the second panel, I am as susceptible as any other American consumer to the siren call of flat-panel television technology. Not that we’ve bought one, but I am keenly aware of how to get one…..

Oh, and in the “do something long enough and you start repeating yourself category,” I submit the comic below. I knew I had done a government welfare check comic before. It was published in May of 2001. As you may recall, the government was sending us deficit money back then, too, and encouraging us to buy something — ANYTHING!!! It struck me that that might be a tough sell to the notoriously thrifty Dutch descendents who populate West Michigan:

Happy Doodle Day!

http://auchtoon.com/blog/2008/04/22/usa-national-doodle-day-thursday-may-8th/

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, April 21, 2008

And I am quite sure that there have been airplane passengers who have complained to their friends after having shared a seat next to me: “He was all arms and legs and constantly working to get a piece of the arm rest! He was chomping Good & Plentys and the black licorice juice ran out of the corners on his mouth and dried there like some erstwhile Alice Cooper! And he kept his nose in a book the whole time pretending like he didn’t want to talk about my Franklin Mint collectables or marital issues!”

As for the comic itself, Northwest already dominates our local airport like an extremely large person can dominate a row of aircraft seats. The merger with Delta will only make them larger. Could end up being okay if some competition shows up, but in the meantime we may have no choice but to squeeze into the window seat….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Family magazine, April 2008

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, April 14, 2008

Michigan roads are notoriously bad, what with our endless freeze/thaw cycles and a maintenance budget that has been bled nearly to death (and a fresh infusion of gas taxes highly unlikely). At least we natives are prepared. We navigate the streets like drunken opossum, staying low, sniffing out possible danger, and swerving wildly when it’s detected. Pity the unassuming tourists coming to seek a pleasant peninsula and making the mistake of taking their eyes off the road momentarily to look about them. WHAM! There goes the alignment….

If I had to do this comic over again (and I always think exactly that when I post these things), I would have spent more time looking for a Photoshop filter with a sharper, more “shatter” effect. I settled for this one under deadline pressure. I think you get the general idea that the driver is hitting potholes, but you may also assume that he also dropped acid at the state line. [Cue Jefferson Airplane sound effect.]

Hmmm… providing LSD to mitigate the unpleasantness of having your car consumed by the highway may actually be a cost effective solution for the state. Or it may be a bad tip, man. [Cue ABC Afterschool Special program.]