Auchtoon!

College football is important. Seriously. It’s an industry of significant size that supports the livelihoods of a great many people — not just coaches and players, but support staff, media, local merchants, entire communities. It provides entertainment (even identity) for millions of people. It is legitimately important. (Just not all that important.)

As a fan, I, too, was taken aback last week when Big Ten officials summarily suspended Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh for the final three games of the regular season as punishment for the ongoing alleged sign stealing scandal. Was it poorly handled? Sure. Was it unfair? Seemingly. Was it the worst injustice ever in the history of injustices? No. But the overwrought reactions of coach Harbaugh, Michigan’s Board of Regents, and the legions of Wolverine fans would have you think it was.

Do you think that I was being particularly cynical in today’s cartoon? Perhaps.

But in the short time between drawing the cartoon and typing this, the Michigan Legislature decided to adjourn for the year. Because the Michigan House will soon have an even number of Democrats and Republicans, the current Democrat majority decided to call it quits for 2023. In the new year, the two representatives who are leaving to become mayors of Westland and Warren will likely be replaced with Democrats and they’ll be back in the majority, so they figure they might as well wait till then. So the ink is barely dry and already my cynicism is justified.

Michigan Republicans are, of course, outraged. Outraged that after decades of their majority rule shenanigans, they now have to suffer such indignities. Who could have possibly foreseen this?

The takeaway: We all suffer when so-called leaders prioritize party over people.

State criminal prosecutions of the Flint Water Crisis ended this week with a decision by the Michigan Supreme Court refusing the state’s appeal of lower-court decisions to dismiss charges against former Governor Rick Snyder. It marks the end of a chapter in a very sad book.

Wherever you happen to stand on holding accountable the public officials who put Flint under state-appointed emergency management, I think we can all agree that the optics (not to mention the results) were terrible. And we can add this as a lesson learned — next time rich, “successful” businessmen tell us that they are better than career politicians because (1) they get things done and (2) they take responsibility, maybe we don’t believe them.

For the record, I don’t think how our state government handled the Flint Water Crisis is the only reason why Michigan population is stagnated. But it certainly hasn’t helped. When you’re a place that gets several inches of snow on Halloween, you already have enough challenges to keep and attract people.

I’ve had two distinct thoughts of late regarding the ongoing UAW autoworker strike and the news around it (or the lack thereof):

The first thought: It’s weird. Having been a Michigander most of my life, it’s just odd that the UAW strike isn’t consuming our every waking thought as it would have, say, a few decades ago.

Of course there are a host of reasons why this is: Manufacturing is much less dominant, the Detroit Three are much less dominant, it’s not a simple “white-collar vs. blue-collar” situation anymore, (and lots people have no idea what “white-collar” and “blue-collar” even mean). Still, having grown up in Flint, it’s hard to get used to a UAW strike not being the biggest possible news.

The second thought: It’s troubling. I mean, we could all focus on a good, old-fashioned labor dispute a lot more easily if the rest of the world wasn’t such a freaking mess. (No need for further explanation.)

Social media is a lot of things, but I don’t think it has fundamentally changed who people are. We have always found ways to miscommunicate with one another. Social media just does an exceptional job at facilitating it.

Most of the time, the stakes are pretty low, so it doesn’t matter. But when something truly awful happens, like what is currently happening in the Middle East, the consequences of miscommunication are dire. It’s critical to listen, really listen and hear what the vast majority of people are saying. We are appalled by the violence, and our hearts break for innocent lives lost and all those who suffer. That’s the only place where we’ll find solace and, ultimately, solutions. Not in what side we perceive others are taking or whom they are blaming.

There was an article in the Washington Post this week titled, “Red and blue voters are backing UAW strikers in one swing county.” I thought it was going to be about Macomb County, our famed “Reagan Democrat” bellwether community where reporters tend to go to monitor the pulse of the nation. It was actually about Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Different state, but same theme.

The angle of this particular “go to the diner and talk with the common folks” story was that liberal/conservative voters seem to be in rare alignment on the UAW strikers and the working class in general. Of course this alignment doesn’t have much depth. Disagreements quickly appear when you bring up things like labor unions and electric vehicles, as demonstrated by the very different rhetoric during President Biden’s visit on to Michigan on Tuesday and former President Trump’s visit on Wednesday.

But do you know the one thing most Americans seem to be able to agree on that stands the test of time? It’s okay to mock super-rich corporate executives. Especially out-of-touch super-rich corporate executives who insist that they’re doing us all a favor by being super-rich. So after this sympathy for the autoworkers falls apart, at least we’ll have that.

I profess not to be a country music fan, and yet there are certain country songs (twangy steel guitars and all) that I find fantastic.

I think jet skis are a terrible idea — excessively loud, exhaust-belching danger machines. But I’ll admit to thoroughly enjoying the handful of times I’ve ridden one.

I believe that “he’s the kind of guy I’d like to have a beer with” is probably the most intellectually vacant reason there is for supporting a politician. But that didn’t stop me from voting for Obama twice.

All that to say, I can’t expect other people to be completely consistent with their beliefs and behaviors if I am unable to be completely consistent with mine. But that won’t stop me from calling them out on their B.S.

Republicans trying to align themselves with striking UAW union workers? That’s some B.S. right there.

We Michiganders are already well-versed in expensive auto insurance, what with our history with unique no-fault laws and personal injury protection. We continue to wrestle with finding the proper balance for the Michigan Catastrophic Claims Association.

We also continue to penalize people based on their credit scores rather than driving records, which tends to price poor people out of car insurance so more go uninsured, which in turn boosts prices for everybody.

Good news! We are not the only state experiencing auto insurance rate increases significantly outpacing inflation. The bad news, it’s an “in addition to” situation, not an “instead of” situation.

NPR had a story this week: 4 reasons why your car insurance premium is soaring. Alas, all of them simply pile onto what we are already suffering from.

Is there any solace to be found? Well, some of those Progressive commercials with Dr. Rick are pretty funny. (Unfortunately, most of the other insurance ads are ubiquitous and annoying.)

To all of you who yearn for days of yore, nostalgic for the past when things were great and life was so much better — consider time officially turned back! The Big Three and the UAW are at each other’s throats, and an auto worker strike again threatens to tank the Michigan economy. Hooray! America is great again!

Or is this not what you were talking about?

Spoiler Alert: If you have never seen the television series, The Good Place, consider reading no further. It’s best to watch it from the very beginning, and the reveal I’m about to, well, reveal is so much better experienced as intended.

So there are four main characters, modern-day human beings who have died and think they have gone to the good place (heaven). They haven’t. It’s a massively arranged hoax to torture them in a unique way (not exactly the bad place but a satellite operation). For three of the characters, it’s pretty clear why they are not in the good place — they were objectively terrible people on earth. For the fourth one, Chidi, it’s not so obvious.

Chidi was a professor of ethics. He is kind and earnest and giving. But it’s his striving for perfect morality that is his undoing. He overthinks every choice to the point of incapacitation and ultimately drives away loved ones and fails his friends. He is not at all evil. Just super, super annoying.

I’m trying not to be a Chidi with college football. I recognize that there is LOTS wrong with it, particularly the big D1 version. And, yes, recent developments have accelerated it toward awfulness. But, God help me, I still occasionally enjoy watching a game.