Auchtoon!

Sometimes it’s difficult to trace exactly where an idea for a cartoon comes from. But sometimes it’s crystal clear. For example, this week.

I was reading an article in the Washington Post about how developers in Galveston Island, Texas, are building luxury, waterfront condos in areas unprotected by a sea wall. This, despite the fact that sea levels (particularly in the Gulf of Mexico) are rising precipitously, compounded by more violent storms brought on by global climate change.

Then of course there was all the news about Hurricane Helene, which may or may not have devastated Florida by the time you are reading this. Just like past hurricanes have. Just like increasingly powerful hurricanes in the future will. Swampland handles this well. People living in swampland, not so much.

Meanwhile, I’m hoping to finish fixing the roof of my shed this weekend in preparation for winter. Because I live in a sensible, somewhat predictable place, I don’t anticipate receiving any federal disaster relief money for the effort.

My wife and I just got back from a summer vacation that spanned Michigan locations from Kalamazoo to the Keweenaw, and I gotta say, we live in a truly beautiful state. Sure, the perfect weather helped. But do you now what else helped? The roads. Yep, you read that right: The Michigan roads.

It had been eight years since we took such an extensive road trip, and the roads (particularly in northern lower Michigan and the UP) are noticeably improved. Not just the smooth pavement, but the addition of passing lanes, clearer sightlines, and roadside rest stops made it a pleasure. Nicely done, Department of Transportation and road construction workers!

Geez Louise, I’m so rested and relaxed I’m complimenting government agencies! So you can understand why I’m looking to avoid anything that will harsh this particular mellow. Say, for example, salty old Republican politicians who want to fill me with fear and anger.

I don’t blame them. It’s a proven strategy, and between their presidential ticket and U.S. Senate candidate Mike Rogers, they seem pretty committed to it. But that doesn’t mean I have to let them ruin my summer.

From the NPR story:

“The mother of a Michigan teenager who killed four fellow students and wounded seven other people during a mass shooting at Oxford High School in 2021 was convicted Tuesday in connection with her son’s crimes.

The jury found Jennifer Crumbley guilty of four counts of involuntary manslaughter. It’s believed to be the first time a parent has been tried for manslaughter in connection with a mass shooting conducted by their child.”

Everything about the events leading up to the mass shooting, the shooting itself, and events afterward is saturated with sadness. From the victims to the perpetrators, there are absolutely no winners. The only redeeming takeaway may be that a small amount justice seems to have been served.

The parents of the shooter had clearly been negligent in their responsibilities to their son and their community. (Ms. Crumbley’s husband, James, will soon be tried on the same charges.) She will now have to face lawful consequences for her actions (or, more accurately, inaction).

It doesn’t fix anything, but justice does provide a reason to be hopeful that lessons have been learned.

Is it fair to hold the University of Michigan and Michigan State University to a higher standard just because they are “institutions of higher learning”? Sure. Although colleges and universities don’t guarantee learning, they do provide the opportunity to learn. And some otherwise smart administrators and coaches seemingly continue not to take the opportunity.

• Larry Nassar Case: https://believed.michiganradio.org/
• Robert Anderson Case: https://www.michiganradio.org/tags/dr-robert-anderson
• Mel Tucker Firing: https://www.michiganradio.org/sports/2023-10-25/michigan-state-hearing-officer-rules-mel-tucker-sexually-harassed-brenda-tracy-ap-source-says
• Sign-Stealing Scandal: https://www.michiganradio.org/sports/2023-10-20/michigan-suspends-football-program-employee-while-under-ncaa-investigation

Although the cartoon this week is not specifically about Michigan, I would argue that anything about Florida directly relates to Michigan. We’re connected. Michiganders visit there, vacation there, many of us even eventually move there. I mean, lots of sun and no state income tax, what’s not to like, right? Well, as it turns out…

You guys read the news — you don’t need me to list it out. Suffice to say, Florida has clearly been the epicenter of our nation’s culture wars recently, and that doesn’t look like it’s going to change anytime soon.

But beyond the current political and social conditions in Florida, I have to admit that I do have a personal axe to grind with the state, and it has to do with their professional sports teams. For the past dozen years or so, Tampa Bay and Miami teams have been astonishingly successful while Detroit teams have been astonishingly terrible. As I write this, the Florida Panthers (yes, that’s a real team) are in the Stanley Cup finals, and the Miami Heat are a game away from the NBA Finals. The Red Wings and Pistons didn’t come close to getting in the playoffs.

But thing is, their fans don’t seem to care. We Michiganders live and die with our teams; we cling to and celebrate championships from decades past and relive every bitter defeat as if they were yesterday. Florida fans might stay for the entire game when they win and then be completely “oh well” indifferent when they lose.

So I may be a little bitter. Okay, a lot bitter.

I like the idea of electing leaders who see the value of good governance, but I’m more afraid of those willing (even enthused) about burning the whole house down.

I like the idea of passing laws that ensure all people (especially women) have access to affordable, high-quality health care, but I’m more afraid of the zealots and ideologues intent on doing or saying anything to prevent that.

I like the idea of making voting as accessible as possible, but I’m more afraid of how dedicated supporters of the Big Lie are continuously attempting to undermine that.

I like the idea of candidates capable of being open-minded and admitting mistakes, but I’m more afraid of those who will always put party and self-interest first.

I like the idea of supporting democracy, but I’m more afraid of how it can be whittled away and replaced by authoritarianism.

Back in 2004, there was that ballot proposal in Michigan to define marriage as between one man and one woman. It passed handily and forever forbade gay marriage per the Michigan constitution. Until it was overturned (overruled? superseded? made null and void? I’m not sure the right terminology) a decade later when same-sex marriage was legalized for the United States as a whole.

The arguments for the ban tended along the lines of “the majority of people don’t approve of gay marriage, and the majority rules, bub. That’s how democracies work!” My smartypants, “well, actually” response: “But we live in a constitutional republic, not a democracy.” Technically correct, sure. But underneath that, the actual point — popularity doesn’t automatically make something right.

These days I’m seeing the “constitutional republic” argument being used more and more. Not just in cases of gay rights, but issues surrounding abortion access, gun violence, healthcare access, and so on. Curiously, the argument seems especially popular with those who not too long ago were vehement proponents of “majority rules.” Again, technically they are not wrong. I am just questioning their apparent flexibility. It was fine to impose their values on others when in the majority, but awfully convenient that they see those same values as constitutionally protected now that they are in the minority.

It is, of course, natural to want to bend the rule of law to meet a desired outcome. (Making “states’ rights” mean what we want them to mean is something of a national pastime.) But it shouldn’t be a convenient default.

Ford Motor Co. announced this week that it plans to let go 3,000 white-collar workers, many of whom live in Michigan. In the olden days (pre-Great Recession), a move like this would have been hard to understand. Generally companies didn’t start shedding white-collar workers until they were actually losing money. Ford is highly profitable at the moment and sitting on tons of cash. Also, Ford and other automobile manufacturers have been very clear about their need to attract and retain talent to ensure their success.

But now, the rationale is that the company is preparing itself for (1) a major shift to EV production and (2) anticipated economic volatility. Agree or disagree with the cuts, Ford is acting proactively for itself and its shareholders, and maybe even to the benefit of many of the affected workers (depending on the quality of the severance packages).

However, for the Ford workers who remain, stress levels are likely to move up a notch or two. Your employer has just demonstrated that they are perfectly willing to sacrifice you. I mean, it’s 2022, and none of this is a surprise. But all the same, it feels very much like “The Princess Bride” and what the Dread Pirate Roberts used to say Westley at the end of each day: “Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”

I suppose I am as prone to entertaining myself with Walter Mitty-like fantasies as the next guy. For me, they tend to be sports related: a relief pitcher with a 110 mph cutter, a skilled shooting guard but with the shot-blocking instincts of Bill Russell, a world-class 200 meter sprinter. (No additional qualifications for that last one — I just like to imagine flying around that turn at super-human speed!)

All perfectly healthy. But where I think it can get dangerous is when guys (and it’s usually guys) attempt to cross their fantasies over into reality. I mean, it’s fun to watch Patrick Swayze in “Road House,” but it would be a terrible idea to try to be Patrick Swayze in “Road House,” right? So many punches to the face!

Another terrible idea would be to take it upon yourself to prove the 2020 elections were rigged by perusing your own investigation based entirely on what you want to believe and then confiscating voting machines. This is what Barry County Sheriff, Dar Leaf, has been up to. That’s scary enough, but what’s terrifying is likely Republican candidate for Michigan Attorney General, Matthew DePerno, also apparently playing that game.

Guys, enough with the Big Lie-fueled fantasies! Maybe try instead: “The quarterback who leads the Detroit Lions to their first Super Bowl victory.” That’d be an impossible dream worth dreaming.

So now we can add “Buffalo” and “supermarkets” to the long list of instantly recognizable words associated with mass shooting incidents in America. At this point, I don’t even know how to feel about it. Disgusted? Disillusioned? Distraught? All of the above?

It’s certainly not optimism. Although, at least the Oxford, Michigan School Board came to its senses and is allowing a third-party investigation of their shooting incident (keywords: “Oxford” and “school”). It’s a pretty low bar, but when it comes to gun violence in America, at least it’s something. But is it something we can build on?