Auchtoon!

Twenty-one years ago, my wife, my two daughters, and I went on a trip to England during Thanksgiving. My brother was living in London at the time and had invited us to stay with him. It was magical. We toured all around. We rode the Underground, we took a motorboat up the Thames, we went to see The Lion King on stage. It couldn’t have been more perfect.

Prior to the trip, I had only two misgivings. The first was leaving our son at home, who was just too young to travel. (He had a pretty sweet week, though, basking in the full attention of Nana and Poppie.) The second was missing our traditional Thanksgiving. The families, the food, the fun — everything. I am very much wired to choose what I do know I like over all other options every time. It seems silly to think that I might have opted out of a trip to London just to spend Thanksgiving at home, but I remember it being a consideration.

All that to say, Thanksgiving this year has no doubt been different. And probably not in a good “trip to London” sort of way. (Literally. You couldn’t go even if you wanted.) But still, I hope you have been able to find some joy in the different experience. Or at least it occurred to you that it was Thanksgiving and that you can think of something to be thankful for. 

Editor’s Note: Yesterday the news broke about Chatfield and Shirkey taking a meeting at the White House to perhaps overturn presidential election results in Michigan. I’ve been trying to compose some sort of note to alert readers that that happened after my deadline and so this cartoon isn’t about that. But you can see how awkward that last sentence is, plus I have no idea what those two guys are actually going to do. So I guess I’m resigned to having to live with the ludicrous speed of the news cycle (and the ludicrous behavior of these politicians).

The posturing around the COVID crisis by Speaker of the Michigan House, Lee Chatfield, and Senate Majority Leader, Mike Shirkey, reminds me of the animated film Kung Fu Panda. (Well of course it does — it’s only natural.) 

There’s a scene in which Shifu comes to his zen-like master, Oogway, to warn him of impending danger:

Shifu: I… I… have… it’s… it’s very bad news.

Oogway: Aah, Shifu. There’s just news. There’s no good or bad.

Shifu: Master, your vision… your vision was right. Tai Lung [the evil and very powerful bad guy] has broken out of prison! He’s on his way!

Oogway: That is bad news…

Although I would hardly describe them as zen-like, I see Chatfield and Shirkey as playing the role of the guru master, Oogway. Their tendency is to try stay above the panic and address the issues with their wisdom about limiting the role of government, about constitutional law, about personal freedoms, and so on. But now that an evil and powerful bad guy (COVID-19) is loose, they could at least acknowledge the reality. Unlike Oogway, these guys have not come close to that.

I want to give Chatfield and Shirkey both the benefit of the doubt. I want to believe that their clinging to dogmatic beliefs is authentic and not a political calculation. But it’s difficult in the face of what they did in the spring and what they are doing now.

And to be sure, despite following the advice of the scientific and medical professionals, not everything that Governor Whitmer has done has worked. Some didn’t seem to make sense. (Remember when we collectively lost our minds earlier this year when we couldn’t buy paint at Lowes for a few weeks?) But at least she’s listening and she is engaging. C’mon guys. This virus, it IS bad news.

How utterly disheartening it must be to be a frontline worker right now. Especially for those in healthcare professions. I feel this requires no further explanation.

Back in the day, I used to play in a lot of 3-on-3 basketball tournaments. (Pre-COVID, I used to play basketball period. *sigh*) A lot of Gus Mackers. A lot of local fundraiser events. The idea was to simulate pickup games, the kind you’d play in a driveway with neighbors and friends. So, no refs. Call your own fouls. Play hard, but have fun. And that worked really great. Until it didn’t.

There always seemed to be one team (more typically, one guy on one team) who was in it to win no matter what. He usually was a pretty good player, but would stop at nothing to make sure he won. For instance, if he missed a shot, he would call a foul. Didn’t matter if you were near him or not. He’d call the foul and then argue for 10 minutes if you challenged him. Then when you got ball, he’d smack the crap out of your elbow on a shot and argue for 10 minutes that he never touched you. Purposeful and without shame. His goal was to wear you down so he could call himself a winner.

See where I’m going with this? Yeah, it’s not too difficult figure out. Donald Trump is that guy.

The difference, of course, is that you’d often give in to the basketball guy. It wasn’t worth your time. The Presidency of the United States of America over the next four years — that has more consequence.

Everybody votes, then you count all the votes. It’s really pretty simple.