Auchtoon!

Among the many things to admire about the youth who led the March for Our Lives events this past week is their patriotism. That may sound a little off because their detractors have gone to some lengths to question that very thing. But the reality is, they were acting on the very lessons taught to us all about what it is to be Americans: stand up for what’s right, encourage participation in our democratic system, communicate with your representatives, strive to make your country a better place.

But what struck me as maybe most patriotic was the emphasis on inclusion. Before the march, several of the Parkland students visited an inner-city public school in Washington DC to let those students tell their story of gun violence. Inclusion, making sure all voices are heard. What is more American than that?

And what awful and compelling stories they had to tell about gun violence — the same stories kids from places like Flint have been telling for too long. That definitely needs to be part of the bigger conversation.

Look, I don’t want to make these kids out to be perfect. They are people after all, and they are bound to become distracted, get off message, maybe make some political misjudgements. Just like, you know, former Supreme Court members do. (Old people these days! Amiright?)

But so far I’d say they have been impressively on task. Fifty years ago the message from youth to adults could be summarized as, “Get out of the way, your time is over!” Today their message is really more of a practical challenge: “Do your job!”

The songwriting credit for the majority of Beatles songs is listed as “Lennon-McCartney,” but in truth most of the songs were composed individually by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. One of the more famous examples of actual collaboration in the later years of the band is the song “Getting Better.” In the refrain, the more optimistic and positive McCartney wrote the lyric, “It’s getting better all the time,” and the more pessimistic and negative Lennon contributes the next line, “Can’t get no worse.”

This week Governor Snyder signed a new bill to add $175 million to the current year’s budget for road repair. In the signing ceremony he was, well, Rick Snyder: a corporate coffee mug of bubbling, artificially sweetened enthusiasm. A paraphrase of his speech, “The pothole situation in Michigan is just getting better all the time.” To which I say, “Well, it couldn’t get much worse.”

And yet, with the news this week of Ford Motor Company looking to purchase the Michigan Central Station building and property in Detroit, I find myself at an “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” level of McCartney sunshine (which is to say, sort of sickening). The Michigan Central Station is an architectural marvel. But where once it was a majestic point of entry to a thriving Motor City, it now has sat derelict for 30 years as an albatross and an eyesore.

Ford, which was founded in Detroit, is looking to return and invest. It is already committed to moving a couple hundred workers to a Corktown neighborhood location nearby. Buying, renovating, and then using Michigan Central Station would be an enormous boost for Detroit.

Now I hear all you Lennons out there, “Ford is only doing it for the PR.” “It’s all about profit.” “It’s just further gentrification that doesn’t help the people of Detroit.” I get that. But you know, sometimes the two sides can coexist. Sometimes Lennon and McCartney work together to make a pretty good song.

When I was in college, I played broomball. Broomball is basically ice hockey but instead of skates, sticks, and a puck you use tennis shoes, brooms, and a semi-deflated volleyball. It was a way for Michigan Tech students without winter sports skills to play a winter sport. Because there is a LOT of winter in Houghton.

Each section (or “house”) of the dormitory had a team. So other than my roommate (who was friend from high school), my teammates were basically randomly selected by the universe. This was fine except for one guy — he was one of our better players and nice enough to everybody on our team, but he would go out of his way to hurt players on other teams.

During games I would, of course, support and defend him when the other team got angry at him. That’s what teammates do. And outside of games when somebody from another team would see me on campus and say, “Hey, what’s the deal with that guy?,” I’d make excuses, “Well, he’s good player, he’s just a little intense.” But after awhile, that wore thin. The truth was, he was not a good person. Probably a sadist. I still feel bad that I defended him.

So here we find ourselves with Betsy DeVos, randomly selected by the universe to be on our state of Michigan team. You saw her performance earlier this week on 60 Minutes. You saw her performance at her confirmation hearings. You’ve seen her performance as Secretary of Education. I cannot explain or excuse any of that.

Being a “member of our team” by geography or even “on our side” politically makes some sense, but it really should be a secondary consideration. At some point a lack of competence has to be the more important consideration. At some point the indefensible must actually, you know, not be defended.

Next week, March 11–17, is Sunshine Week. For us Michiganders, the timing may seem a little off. It is squarely in the hopeless stage of our long, gray winter — what’s this talk of “sunshine”? That’s just mean.

Nevertheless, the American Society of News Editors and the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press use this week each year to promote the importance of access to public information. Sunshine is a symbol for our communities to have transparent access to what’s going on in our government. The tag line is: “It’s Your Right to Know.”

And certainly, when another state makes a play to draw a significant amount of Great Lakes water to outside of the Great Lakes basin, we have the right to know. Thank goodness we do know because the Scott Walkers of the world have proven over and over they are not inclined toward full disclosure. It’s not in their best interest (and their best interest is typically their only interest).

To be fair, Wisconsin is not the only state challenged by balancing economic development with environmental protection. We in Michigan are always grappling with how best to take care of our most valuable natural resource — fresh water: Should we let Nestle expand its bottled water operation? Should we allow a new potash mine to draw millions of gallons of groundwater?

Plus, it’s not like Michigan hasn’t gone down the dicey tax break path with solar panel manufacturing and batteries for electric cars. Truth be told, our own free market capitalist GOP governor made a “government picks the winners and losers” bid at Foxconn. But Walker and Wisconsin way outbid us. Way outbid. One could even say absurdly outbid.

So let ’em have it. We’ll see how viable LED screen manufacturing is in 25 years when their investment is scheduled to begin paying off. But let’s be suspicious about diverting water outside the Great Lakes basin to do it. Let the sun shine so we know what’s going on.

There was a punk rock band called “The Dead Milkmen” that had a fun little run of popularity in the late 1980s. They were goofy and sardonic and unapologetically without polish. One of their songs was called “Bleach Boys” in which the singer extols the supposed virtues of his buddies all drinking bleach (as apposed to indulging in alcohol or other drugs). It’s hilarious. A sample lyric:

Bleach keeps you young so I’ve been told
’cause no one who drinks it lives to be old

Ridiculous, right? But it reveals just how ridiculous it is to enthusiastically abuse anything. And how ridiculous it is to put a positive spin on something that is killing you.

So what’s the connection to the cartoon? Well, it’s that particular lyric that inspired me to think: The United States as a country continues to suffer death and injury at an unacceptable level from gun violence and opioid abuse. Why? Why if both are clearly killing people have we in the recent past allowed the doubling-down on their use?

It seems so obviously counterintuitive. Especially when other countries have found better methods. Yes, all countries are unique, but Canada is very, very similar to the United States. Why is their gun violence rate so much lower? Why is their level of opioid abuse (while still unhealthy) significantly less?

Until we get truly serious — which means sensible solutions to reduce availability and use — we’re kinda drinking bleach.