Auchtoon!

Originally published in the Ann Arbor News, Bay City Times, Flint Journal, Grand Rapids Press, Jackson Citizen Patriot, Kalamazoo Gazette, Muskegon Chronicle, Saginaw News
October 26, 2014

I was hoping for something a little bit more. Not expecting. Hoping. The backstory: Gov. Rick Snyder signs ‘anti-Tesla’ bill into law

Basically this is a law that was already a law in Michigan: Autos have to be sold through dealerships. You can debate the merits of that — it seems anti-competitive, but there are some compelling reasons for consumer protection. This new law reiterates that and then has some extra stuff slipped in, seemingly designed to make life difficult for new competitors in the market, such as Tesla the electric carmaker. The startling thing is that it passed through the legislature with only one vote against it. Even non-binding resolutions for, say, “support our troops” or “puppies are cute” tend to have more than one No vote.

So Governor Snyder had an excellent opportunity to distinguish himself as the true independent, business-first capitalist that he says he is and veto it. Instead he signed it saying basically “it doesn’t change existing law and the legislature really liked it.” Nothing about meeting a real need or solving a necessary issue. I don’t blame Snyder. He is a couple weeks away from a closer-than-expected election, and politically he did the safe thing. Again, wasn’t expecting more. Was just hoping.

Originally published in the Ann Arbor News, Bay City Times, Flint Journal, Grand Rapids Press, Jackson Citizen Patriot, Kalamazoo Gazette, Muskegon Chronicle, Saginaw News
October 19, 2014

Back in May, Republican nominee Terri Lynn Land basically face-planted on the first hurdle of the Senate race. She has not gotten a whole lot better since then. It made me wonder what other face-plants might look like:

• Gary Peters is the Democratic nominee for Senate. He has run a pretty smooth campaign, including a jovial spot where he cites a pair of his shoes with holes in the soles as an example of his fiscal frugalness. But what if he let slip a secret every tea-party conservative suspects to live in his coal-black heart?
• Rick Snyder is the current governor and prides himself on relentless positivity. He has shown a few cracks of irritability here and there, but I’d like to know what a complete breakdown would look like.
• Mark Schauer is the Democratic challenger for governor. As a challenger, his job is to spin the record of the current governor as negatively as possible. And he has, including equating a pension tax as evidence that Rick Snyder has it in for senior citizens. Schauer has been very consistent about that. But one goof up and people might stop believing.

Originally published in the Ann Arbor News, Bay City Times, Flint Journal, Grand Rapids Press, Jackson Citizen Patriot, Kalamazoo Gazette, Muskegon Chronicle, Saginaw News
October 12, 2014

The merging of two stories here. First, the ongoing efforts from Michiganders, such as our state Department of Natural Resources, to sound the alarm about Asian carp. As the comic says, they are an invasive species that could massively alter the fisheries of the Great Lakes. For years now many in Michigan (and especially the Department of Natural Resources) has been sounding the alarm about the potentially devastating effects these fish could have on recreational and commercial fishing, not to mention the vast environmental impact. And it’s a real threat because the Mississippi River system, which is linked to the Great Lakes via canals, has already been totally compromised. Despite this not much has been done.

The second is the hysterical cable news stories about ISIS and ebola and the willingness to devote massive amounts of money and attention to prevent these invasions. Of course these are real issues, but perspective… we seemed to have lost all perspective. The Daily Show actually did a pretty good send up of this that’s worth a watch: A Million Ways to Die in the U.S.

By the way, that’s Ed Golder behind the podium there. He was my editor at the Grand Rapids Press for many years, and he transitioned to PR Director at the DNR. He’s a really good guy. He would never scare people to try to get them to do the right thing, so I am glad to do this for him.

Originally published in the Ann Arbor News, Bay City Times, Flint Journal, Grand Rapids Press, Jackson Citizen Patriot, Kalamazoo Gazette, Muskegon Chronicle, Saginaw News
October 5, 2014

It’s best not to watch campaign ads at all. But if you have to, the mute button helps. It helps to bring out the comedy, especially in the negative ads. I imagine a room full of political operatives pouring over thousands of sepia-toned, slightly out-of-focus, sour-faced pictures of their opponents trying to find the one with just the right amount of unappealing. Apparently they do a good job because that’s the one they end up with.

In Michigan, Gary Peters is running against Terri Lynn Land for a US Senate seat that Carl Levin is retiring from. That makes it an “open” seat, and some significant money has been spent on both sides. Pretty typical stuff. The twist here is that Peters is polling ahead of Land, but it is Peters who has been begging for a formal debate. Typically the underdog wants the debate — nothing to lose. But in this case, Land has avoided it. She may change her mind at the last minute (again, nothing to lose). Or maybe she’s still hoping to find that magical photo of Peters that makes him look like he pooped his pants. God help us if that actually works.