Auchtoon!

Every once in a while I like to remind people (including myself) that it may not be entirely the fault of politicians that they are the way they are. I mean, this in no way excuses the Mitch McConnells of our world for being such loathsome Mitch McConnells. But it can’t always be easy dealing with our not quite achievable expectations.

I’ll leave it at that. Next week, back to holding politicians accountable.

Back in 2016, part of then candidate Donald Trump’s platform (remember back to the quaint days when the Republican Party actually had platforms?) was a plank that for every new federal regulation two would be removed.

I thought, well, okay. I understand the feeling that there are too many rules and regulations — or more specifically, ones that are no longer needed or simply not relevant. But to arbitrarily remove two to make way for a new one? That seemed extremely shortsighted. (Remember back to the quaint days when “shortsighted” was the way you’d describe something you thought was dangerously stupid?)

But back to common ground: Michigan has had a bottle returns law now for nearly 50 years. It is fair to ask whether it is still a good idea to require a 10 cent deposit on soft drink and malt beverage containers. More so recently because the law has apparently been less effective. Recycling rates hit a high of 89% in 2019 but dropped during the complete system shutdown of the pandemic, falling to 75.6% in 2022.

This could be because retailers have been loath to return to making bottle returns as convenient as they were before the pandemic. It could also be because the public at large has been less motivated to take on a chore that pays back much less in buying power than it once did.

But before wiping the law off the books, it is also important to consider the benefits. Three out of four bottles/cans are returned for recycling in Michigan while only one out of four are in states without deposit laws. Is there an alternative that can guarantee the same or less landfill waste and litter?

Both Catholicism and The Twilight Zone have trained me to beware pleasant situations — enjoy them too much and there will be unpleasant consequences. It’s either just straight-up guilt or you’re granted your wish to be the ruler of a powerful nation and — poof! — you’re Hitler at the end of the war in a bunker.

So, sorry, this recent lack of winter and beautiful spring days? It can’t all be good. One of the reasons why Michigan is such a beautiful place is that the harsh winters do a great job of making dormant (or killing off) annoying, nasty, disease-carrying pests. If you want it to be above freezing all year long, well, then you also get the bugs, flies, spiders, reptiles, and other creepy-crawly things that come with it.

Isn’t that reason enough to be concerned about climate change?

It’s fair to say that these have not been the best of times for the Michigan Republican Party. They’ve recently experienced statewide losses, a leadership crisis, diminishing donations, infighting, actual fighting, scandal, and general dysfunction.

For the upcoming election, it is understandable how Michigan Democrats might be tempted to run on a platform of “we’re not them.” But voters — at least the undecided ones, the ones who actually sway elections — need something more than that.

It’s easy to point to what you’re against — it takes effort to thoughtfully consider and then articulate what you’re for. That’s what worked for Reagan. That’s what worked for Obama. We’ll see if  Michigan Democrats figure it out.

You haven’t used one of your many streaming services for a while, and now they are making you log in again! The carafe at the cafe with your favorite coffee is empty, so you either have to wait three minutes or go with your second favorite! Your spouse needs the “good” car, so now you’re stuck with that abomination of a vehicle that doesn’t have heated seats!

Okay, so not having a candidate that you’re excited about voting for in the upcoming primary next week is not really on the same level of pettiness, by I do think it qualifies as a first-world problem. I, too, wish for a selection of more engaging choices.

Biden is an old-school politician, which has its merits, but definitely leaves a wanting for a more dynamic and (yeah, I’ll say it) younger choice.

Haley seems an opportunist without convictions — more interested in achieving the office than actually doing the job.

And Trump is an existential threat to our nation. Plus, you know, the living embodiment of the seven deadly sins.

But in the end, we are voting. So let’s vote, appreciate the opportunity, and do what we can to make the next election better.

This week, State Representative Josh Schriver (R-Oxford) was reprimanded for promoting a racist conspiracy known as the Great Replacement. No need for me to give that conspiracy theory any more oxygen by explaining it here. It’s enough to know that it grows out of (and continues to be incubated by) the Neo-Nazi/Klu Klux Klan/Proud Boys groups among us.

You’d think we’d know enough from history that there’s nothing good down the hyper-nativist path. And yet, rallying to the nativist calls is often seen as the most patriotic thing we can do. For a country of immigrants, we sure have a particular disdain for immigrants.

Aligning various demographic groups into voting blocks is a longstanding American electoral tradition. (Well, maybe not at the start — white, male landowners pretty much had the whole thing locked down in the early years.) But as immigrants arrived, enslaved people were freed, and things got generally more democratic, it became clear that people with shared characteristics often voted in similar ways.

Naturally, political parties and their political machines took note. Pollsters, too. And God knows pundits and talking heads are clear on the concept.

Being part of a voting block isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. Organizing as a group is a great way to ensure your voice is heard. Many Arab Americans in Michigan are displeased and horrified by the ongoing war in Gaza, and their leaders have taken steps to use their leverage as a significant demographic in a so called “swing state” to effect change from the Biden administration.

One of the downsides, though, is the aforementioned pundits and talking heads seizing upon this: “Southeast Michigan chock full for Arab Americans! Who knew?!” “Growing rift with White House likely to sink Biden reelection bid!” “Experts predict effect on 2028 election … and the 2024 NFL draft!”

It’s disheartening how quickly it goes from people’s real concerns to the gamification of those concerns.

The middle panel is a direct quote from UAW President, Shawn Fain, in a speech he gave this week announcing the union’s endorsement of Joe Biden for U.S. President.

Fain has made quite a name for himself for being an authentic, often salty voice of the working class. He can be theatrical, but he also says what he means and doesn’t seem to suffer fools. I’ve also read similar things said in praise of Donald Trump (usually by Trump himself).

While the UAW endorsement is definitely a Michigan issue, I regret not having the time to do a cartoon on Governor Whitmer’s State of the State Address. It was simply too close to my deadline. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to work with the issues she presented.

But I regret that by next week it will no longer be timely to comment on her 1980s music and culture references. Alas. I’ll just need to find another excuse to draw big hair, pleated pants, and Miami Vice jackets.

Okay, granted, winter did hit later than it usually does this year. And the weather we’ve experienced over the past week has been severe. But in the end, it is January, and this is Michigan, so it really isn’t that remarkable. And yet, that doesn’t stop all of us from persistently remarking, does it?

Still, if the alternative is election talk…

Did you stay up late on Monday to watch the game? I did. And my workday wakeup time is 4:45 a.m. Still, it was totally worth it.

Sure, the championship win was super nice. (And the Rose Bowl win in the semifinals over Alabama was even nicer!) But there were also some really compelling storylines. However you feel about the sign-stealing scandal, the Michigan football team did need to overcome some significant adversity — from its own conference and the NCAA, everybody’s least favorite bureaucracy (which is saying something).

And there were other, more traditionally feel-good storylines like running back Blake Corum coming back after blowing out his knee last year to score two touchdowns in the title game.

But I think on the whole, the best story was that the state of Michigan got a win. We don’t get many — especially over the past couple of decades. So even though it was college football (and all the baggage that comes with that), it’s gratifying to have “Michigan” and “the best” in the same headline.

Still, I have to admit, even as the confetti was falling, a part of me was thinking, “Oh Lord, those true-blue U of Mers are gonna be hard to live with after this.”