Auchtoon!

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, November 10, 2008

Cases-in-point:

• Michigan has been in recession for, oh, eight years: nothing. Other states go into recession this year: massive funding.
• Michigan has been foreclosing houses the traditional way — we lost our jobs & health care and went broke: nothing. Other states start foreclosing house because of endless speculation building, flipping, and creative(!) financing: massive funding.
• Michigan automakers ask for free $25 billion handout: nothing. Financial institutions on the coasts ask for free $700 billion handout: massive funding.

I could go on….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, November 3, 2008

We had two state ballot proposals here in Michigan. I could describe them to you, link you to the exact language, and give you an analysis of possible scenarios — or I could just tell you they were on medical marijuana and stem cell research, for them or against them? Because that’s what ballot proposals are — a popularity contest on the concept and not on the actual law or amendment.

It’s a really stupid way to govern ourselves. Well, stupid and lazy. Instead of the legislative branch doing what they are supposed to do — researching and crafting a law — it gets turned over to special interest groups who have money and an axe to grind, and no real concern for the actual implications. (Let the courts sort it out and then complain about activist judges, I guess.) So you end up with the mystifying circumstance of the Michigan constitution — the general, overriding document for guiding our state laws — with an amendment that says basically you can’t not allow stem cell research. Really doesn’t sound like a guiding principle to me. No more than can’t not being a man and a woman to marry — that one passed four years ago….

Medical marijuana usage has been approved, sort of, mostly, well….. This one wasn’t amended to the constitution (why not?), but the proposal was pretty short on specifics. Those who might benefit — say chemotherapy patients — will have to take guesses at what exactly is allowed and hope they aren’t outside the law. What fun for them!

Of course, there are instances where ballot proposals are useful. In Ottawa County, folks got to vote whether to allow sales of beer and wine on Sundays. A popularity contest makes sense here: do most people want the sales of something very well defined and understood, yes or no? But then, to approve sales, you had to vote “no.” To deny sales, you had to vote “yes.” Sigh. Even when ballot proposals are straightforward, they’re confusing….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 27, 2008

This ran in the paper last week before Halloween. Obviously I was pretty bound up, having consumed way too much political rhetoric and suffering from campaign constipation. I’m feeling so much better now after that Election Day colonic.

To carry the analogy further… Nah, never mind…

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 20, 2008

The Grand Rapids area is losing its last GM facility. When I moved out here almost 23 years ago, GM was the area’s biggest employer. GM was never dominant here like in the Flint I left, but still a significant part of the economy. Other GM facilities fell away to global competition, wrong-guesses, spin-offs, hard times. But the really distressing thing about this particular GM facility is that it is universally acknowledged as a jewel — a highly efficient, extremely safe, premium quality stamping facility. The management has historically been creative and competent. The local union, cooperative, pragmatic, and focused on worker safety. (Have you ever been in a stamping facility? Basically, huge rolls of steel go in one side, humongous dies cut and and stamp the metal, and large car parts — hoods, doors, roofs — flow out the other side.) The facility’s only fault is its location — it’s not adjacent to an assembly plant — and GM simply has too many stamping facilities at the moment.

It is incredibly difficult to set up a stamping facility and have it hum like this one has. It takes a lot of talent, engineering know-how, skilled craftspeople to produce world-class work under difficult conditions. And now that is going away, which is sad and seems like an awful waste.

The salt in this particular wound is that this facility closing can be traced fairly directly to the recent financial meltdown. GM is short on cash because there is no cash. The banks and Wall Street and lack of government oversight has so thoroughly screwed the economic pooch that money has evaporated and any that the government pours back in is apparently being sponged by the very same institutions. This all leaves little capital to either finance purchasing a car or finance the building of cars.

If I were a GM worker who busted my butt to send my kid to college only to see that kid working in investment banking, developing those re-packaged, warmed-over, mortgage debt products, well, I’d be thinking about running that kid through the stamping plant before it closes….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 13, 2008

It’s at that point, isn’t it? Election season fatigue. When even folks who are the true believers in their candidate are going, “ya know, I’m kinda tired of hearing about this crap.” Well, me too. And I’m supposed to enjoy it. Okay, I do enjoy most of it, but it becomes overwhelming. I get too many ideas, so I have to sort out exactly what I want to do. And then, often, the one I settle on goes stale within a day because fresh batches of audacities and outrages are coming out of the oven.

So I was going to give you a lengthy, detailed essay on whom I’m planning to vote for, but now that idea just makes me weary. Instead I’ll give you the very basic reasons, and if you are feeling all energetic, you can tell me what you think: Obama. He’s an intelligent person. He at least mentions both revenue and spending when discussing budgets. When he deviates from the script, he typically says something sensible. He seems to recognize the world has changed, and the United States’ role has changed. He’s new.

Sarcastic asides that I removed from my endorsement: He’s got white blood so that means, you know, we’ve got like a special bond and we can hang out and stuff. He has never been a governor of a southern state. The liberal media elite have given me my orders and I must obey.

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 6, 2008

When the McCain campaign announced they were pulling out of Michigan, my first thought was, “Wow, we really can’t catch an economic break, can we?” Michigan has been having a difficult time attracting investors, but, dang, when even our votes are apparently of no value…..

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, September 29, 2008

So much to write about, so little time. Perhaps later. In the meantime, this week’s comic is painfully self-explanatory….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, September 22, 2008

These days there is so much low-hanging fruit for editorial cartoon ideas, what with the election, the financial meltdown, the bumbling Congress, etc. This week’s plum that I couldn’t quite get to: Certain Republican Representatives from Michigan posturing wildly on the bailout package, voting against it and claiming it would take us on a ride to downtown socialism — but then within days all quietly voting in favor of a bailout for the Big Three auto companies. This is their free market capitalism? Really? But so it goes.

The comic above was kind of a reflection on, well, there are actually good things going on, too. Recently, business leaders in West Michigan organized a policy conference to not only discuss the economic future of the region but also to try to do something with it. Richard DeVos gave a keynote speech that was stunning in its clarity. He basically said, “Don’t stand around expecting somebody else to come here and save us. The people of West Michigan need take responsibility.” He was calling people out, challenging them to open discussions and develop relationships, trying to move things forward.

It’s true that I have had some misgivings with Richard DeVos and have questioned his judgment in previous comics, and I was somewhat let down that the Conference ended up rating “eliminating the Michigan business tax” and “turning us into a right-to-work state” as their top goals. But I think — and this is an odd thing for an editorial cartoonist to say — that sometimes it’s okay to acknowledge the positive. As another example, there were moments in last night’s vice presidential debate when my intestines didn’t actively hurt. There, that was positive….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, September 15, 2008

Remember earlier this month when John McCain selected Sarah Palin as his running mate and the ensuing frenzy? Remember the fawning over the firecracker governor of Alaska, her tough speeches, he strong stances, her fresh appeal? You know, before the financial markets melted down. It seems so long ago. Good times.

But this is America, and we move on. It has become pretty clear pretty quickly that Governor Palin’s pick was almost entirely without merit. It’s not so much that she isn’t qualified to run the country, it’s that there are so many other Republicans, female Republicans who are way more qualified. It took me a while to identify my feelings on this but I think it’s very much the same how I felt when Bush 41 picked Dan Quayle to be his running mate in 1988 — that handsome, socially conservative young fella who the women folk will adore. Is he honestly ready to step in at any moment as President? Heck, no, but he sure is handsome. And for God’s sake, don’t let him talk to the press….

So my commentary above has to do with our governor, Jennifer Granholm, accepting an invitation to stand in as Sarah Palin to help Joe Biden prepare for the upcoming Vice Presidential candidate debate. (Assuming, of course, John McCain doesn’t unitarily suspend that, too.) I thought it’d be funny for her to use some newly practiced skills to defend her record, which isn’t great to say the least. But my favorite Palin-related bit was from an excellent comic strip called, “Get Fuzzy.” Satchel confuses Sarah Palin with Michael Palin of Monty Python fame and some of his legendary skits. In particular, the “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition” sketches because it is ludicrous and surreal and very, very silly. Like putting a two-year governor with absolutely no international diplomacy skills an unsteady heartbeat away from the presidency….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, September 8, 2008

It’s just a little tough to take sometimes. Here we are in Michigan where we build stuff like cars. And for the past 30 years we’ve been building fewer and fewer for a variety of reasons — stupid decisions, greed, globalization, missed opportunities, laziness, bad timing, stuff like that. It’s finally gotten to the point of requesting some help from the government — a little something to, you know, meet all the new federal mandates and keep people employed. This being an election year, the funds have been promised. We’ll see.

In the meantime, government money is pouring out to mortgage loaners, investment bankers, insurance companies. Why them? Why do they need the money? Well basically for the same reasons as the automobile industry: stupid decisions, greed, globalization, missed opportunities, laziness, bad timing. But they get the bailout because they had the forethought (or lack of forethought) to have an immediate crisis. Nothing turns the faucet like panic….