Auchtoon!

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, August 13, 2007

A couple of weekends ago, we Auchters were hard at work on various painting and cleaning projects around the house. Nothing major — just the sorts of projects that are ideal for summer. You know, the ones that typically get blown off till the last nice day of November.

My particular task was to repaint the basketball court. The key word: repaint. No thinking involved. I decided to play some music and grabbed my old boombox. The CD player on it can be dodgy, so I dug out a few old cassette tapes, most of which I haven’t listened to in at least 10 years. The one I played was 10,000 Maniacs, “In My Tribe.” Remember that? Late 1980s, Natalie Merchant on vocals? I remembered liking it. In any case, I bought it. Well after listening to one side I clicked stop and decided to store the Maniacs away for a long, long time.

Oh the music was okay. Jangly. Poppy. But it was the lyrics! C’mon Natalie, lighten up, can’t ya?! Poverty, alcoholism, spouse abuse, despair, heartache, LORDY! Here I was on this cheery summer Sunday afternoon merrily slapping new paint to brighten one of my happy places, and I was gettin’ all bummed out. Where was my “Whistle While You Work”?

Now I understand the need to address social issues and tell the stories of the downtrodden, but why so relentlessly negative, so soul crushing, so glass-fully-empty, so… so much like an editorial cartoon?…

Right. Well. I therefore endeavored to find a bright side with my next editorial cartoon, the one you just read. It was more difficult than I had imagined. It turns out negative goes hand-in-hand with irony, sarcasm, parody, sanctimony and all the other tools of the trade. A positive spin arouses suspicion — the acrid fumes of marketing come wafting by. So I guess I cheated a little by taking a swipe at TV journalism, but I did attempt to feature the uniquely American virtues of tenacious optimism and entrepreneurial spirit. What do you think?

Next week: Back to “it’s all going to hell.”