Auchtoon!

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, March 1, 2010

You guys ever see the movie “Cool Hand Luke”? You haven’t? If I were in charge of our education system, I would make viewing “Cool Hand Luke” a graduation requirement. Why? Because that movie is just full of metaphors and analogies that an editorial cartoonist could use — I could steal a quote or draw a scene, and everybody would instantly recognize it. I’ve lamented before about the lack of universal cultural touchpoints and how it makes my life more difficult, so I won’t go on, but I will ask this: What three movies would you make graduation requirements? The first that come to mind for me are:

• Cool Hand Luke
• Duck Soup
• The Apartment

 And now I want to add “The Big Bus.” Not because it has any sort of social truths that would be helpful for cartooning (or any redeeming value, really). But if I were in charge of the whole educational system, I would quickly become drunk on power and make people watch stuff nobody knows about but I think is hilarious. Sorry.

Anyway, in Cool Hand Luke, the fellow in charge of the prison camp is a character known as “Captain.” He dresses in a clean, white shirt and is seemingly very cordial and gentile with his southern drawl and measured tone. He’s in control. That is, until things don’t go his way. Then he becomes something of a bloviating jerk. Go back to a year ago when various bloviating jerks, er, southern senators took Michigan automakers to task — much of it well-deserved, by the way, but still tough to take when your local economy depended on fixing the mess, not just simply casting blame. Now back to today, when these same southern senators are conspicuously quiet when an automaker with major installations in their states makes some pretty big blunders. What we got here is failure to communicate. 

Good cartooning news! Starting tomorrow, I will be doing a weekly editorial for the Grand Rapids Press. The folks down at the Press are trying to give the editorial page of their Saturday edition a decidedly local/state issues angle, so they wanted a local/state editorial cartoon. (Hey! That’s me! I can do that!)

I dunno how this will all play out in the online world, so here’s what you need to do: tomorrow, go buy a newspaper. (And this will work out best if you buy a Grand Rapids Press newspaper.) Read it. Enjoy it. Subscribe to it. In fact, while you are out and about, pick up a Grand Rapids Family magazine — they’re free. Then come Monday, that’s right, back to the newstand for your Grand Rapids Business Journal.  Then start a new publication with the name “Grand Rapids” in it and decide it needs cartoons!!! (Okay, getting a little carried away now….)

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 22, 2010

’nuff said. Seriously! That’s enough!!!

We hear enough bad things about failing schools and wasted public funds — how about a success story? I submit to you the orchestra program at Grandville Public Schools. Check out these YouTube links that my friend Jim Wildgen posted:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qhF5DMFyS4
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4mV3S4A900
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO7GencAkrI

These are high school kids from a middle class school system. The three selections are from a recent concert, which was actually only a tune-up ahead of their annual competition. You don’t have to be a classical music fan to appreciate how extraordinary it is for a group this size to work together so well. It’s amazing to me. (Full disclosure: That alabaster cellist in the first chair is my daughter Elisira.)

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Family magazine, February 2010

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 15, 2010

As I alluded to last week, my local congressional representative Vern Ehlers recently announced he has no intention of running again this fall. Good for Vern. He’s a physicist by training, and I’m sure he will get much more enjoyment pursuing his scientific interests (Honey, I’m going to build a cyclotron in the basement!) than dealing with a dysfunctional congress. Ehlers is a decent guy — a Republican and fiscal conservative with an open mind, particularly for environmental issues. Or, as the cartoon refers to him, an endangered species.

So it will be interesting to see who wins the Republican nomination, which is essentially the de facto winner for our district. Already there are true bloods lining up to out zealot each other with “I hate government, government hates us” this and “taxes ruin everything always every time” that. Bad for us. Perhaps if Ehlers has something left in his tank for serving his country, he will work toward devising a ray gun that can be used on politicians who follow their party’s line too closely — the beam would stimulate the disused reason and thoughtful consideration parts of the brain back to activity. How about it, Vern? Please?

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 8, 2010

This actually ties in nicely with the recent announcements of some sane/sensible congress folks (Representative Vern Ehlers of Michigan, Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana) to not seek re-election. Yes, yes, the government, the system, the elected officials, the MAN all have a big hand in the dysfunction. But if you are an incumbent with some grasp of reality, would you want to bother trying to convince voters likes this little old lady to do the right thing? Me neither.

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 1, 2010

Ha! I was starting to write a horribly convoluted story about technology and vehcile safety and long, gray nostril hairs, but I just realized: I’ve got too many things to do and have too many thoughts distracting me. To continue would likely result in the blog entry equivalent of a car wreck. And that would be ironicish. (See? I’m making up words!) I’m going to go try paying attention to just one thing at a time now….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, January 25, 2010

Ah, yes. Nine years into our Michigan recession, lawmakers in Lansing are ready to lead us in a bold new direction! *Sigh*

Mark your calendars: Next week Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (February 4, 5, and 6), Grandville High School will be putting on the play, “The Breakfast Club.” It is a stage production of the 1985 John Hughes film. Ellie will be on stage as Alison (the Ally Sheedy part); Natalina is working backstage. Call or email me or Jane for details!