Auchtoon!

All of our money (as in United States of America legal tender) has the motto, “In God We Trust.” Our coins also have “E pluribus unum” (out of many, one) and “Liberty.” They are there, I believe, as reminders of who we are and would like to be as Americans. It may get a little crowded (especially on the dime), but I humbly submit that we should add one more: “We are a country of action; lies do not become us.”

That is, of course, comes from the great William Goldman and his book and screenplay for “The Princess Bride.” I hope you have read the book and seen the movie. (If Betsy DeVos wants to begin to win me over, she can start by making this a national education requirement.)

Even if you have and don’t remember, there is a scene where the evil Prince Humperdinck and his soldiers capture our heroes Westley and Princess Buttercup. In exchange for agreeing to go with Humperdinck, Buttercup makes him promise to return Westley safely to his ship. He lies to Buttercup, giving his word that it will be done. After Humperdinck and Buttercup ride off, the prince’s henchman, Rugen, sneers down at Westley, “Come, sir, we must get you to your ship.” Westley, knowing full well he intends to torture and kill him, replies, “We are men of action; lies do not become us.”

To my mind, that fits perfect with our other mottoes. It explicitly demonstrates the ideals we Americans aspire to: Honor. Courage. Fortitude. No BS.

Gerrymandering is contrary to those ideals. It lies about who we are. It skews what we represent. It nurtures the self-preservation of those in power. It tips the balance to favor a privileged few over liberty for all. It limits discourse. It protects scoundrels.

We are a country of action; lies do not become us.

The topic for this week’s cartoon started with news of Michigan Republican legislators pushing for tax cuts ahead of Governor Snyder presenting a budget for the upcoming fiscal year. It seemed fairly irresponsible, given the challenges Michigan faces and the fact that they cannot ever seem to be bothered with identifying the budgets that would require corresponding cutting. The governor, to his credit, pointed this out:
http://michiganradio.org/post/governor-snyder-pushes-back-against-tax-cut-fever-legislature

But the inspiration came from a good friend of mine, Jim, who earlier this week shared an old Detroit News article about his great uncle, Jerry terHorst. Mr. terHorst was the press secretary for Gerald Ford who famously resigned his position when Ford pardoned Richard Nixon. From the article:

…tenHorst was “stunned” to learn the President was going to pardon Richard Nixon, before indictment and before trial. TenHorst recalls: “I wondered very briefly that afternoon whether there wasn’t some way I could serve my conscience and still stay on at the White House. But that period of consideration was very short. I knew I couldn’t.”

So even though President Ford was an old and dear friend, tenHorst felt he could not be a mouthpiece for something his values absolutely could not support.

But here’s the kicker: To find a new press secretary, Ford had head-hunters contact terHorst. Ford so respected terHorst he did not hesitate to go to him for advice.

Wow. Where have these people gone?

The thing is, I know principled, conservative, Christian Republicans still exist. My friend Jim is one, and he shares those very traits with his uncle. If I happen to run into him, I expect we’ll talk about the cartoon, and he’ll share his view, which will likely run counter to mine. (Note that I wrote “view” and not “side.” I’m positive we are on the same side: the importance of fiscal responsibility.)

But where the heck are the principled, conservative, Christian people in Republican leadership?

I was outed long ago as a Gerald Ford fanboy, so forgive me yet another indulgence, but consider:

• President Gerald Ford and press secretary Jerry terHorst
• President Donald Trump and press secretary Sean Spicer

Could there possibly be a more stark contrast in personal integrity?

Wow.

See? See?! This is exactly why I think it’s ridiculous to declare allegiance to any particular political party. Who they are and what they represent is a fluid thing — they change over time. Sometimes very, very quickly.

It was just eight years ago when automaker CEOs were also schlepping to Washington DC. Back then it really was to secure a future for the American manufacturing industry. They were harangued by all flavors of lawmakers. And rightfully so. The automakers had not created the crisis (a bursting housing bubble had done that), but they had left themselves highly vulnerable with years and years of bad decision-making.

But what was particularly hard to take were Republican senators like Jeff Sessions of Alabama riding around on their high horses extolling the purity and sanctity of unfettered capitalism. (Never mind that they basically bought their assembly plants with massive tax breaks.)

So what happened to the Republican party whose supposed rock-bed tenet is free and open markets? Because now it seems that same party is leading the way to closing markets, applying tariffs, inserting itself at every opportunity, and attempting to pick the winners and losers.

The answer is, the party evolves. And so the Republican party of eight years ago has the same name, but for all intents and purposes, it has become the Nationalist party. If it’s new rock-bed tenet is America first, all that free market capitalism (and everything else) by definition is going to have a lower priority.

Well, at least there are virtuous leaders within the federal government who will be there to ensure the auto industry and Michigan get a fair shake. Leaders like the new Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, who… oh, never mind.

One of the big downsides to January in Michigan is the annual State of the State address. (Of course, the main upside to January in Michigan is that it isn’t February.) We have not been blessed with governors who are accomplished orators, at least not during the time that I’ve been editorial cartooning.

John Engler was so bad it was actually part of his charm. (That may be the only published instance where you will see “charm” and “John Engler” in the same sentence.) He was an effective behind-the-scenes guy who was clearly uncomfortable speechifying. You could almost see the thought balloon above his head as he talked, “My hands. What do I do with my hands?”

Jennifer Granholm had skills but in the “smart kid hitting all her marks” sense. Technically there, but something much less than inspiring. True, as governor during Michigan’s lost decade, she had some pretty grim material to work with. But then so did Churchill, and he did okay. (Perhaps governors should be required to deliver all future speeches using a British accent.)

Before I dump on Governor Snyder, I should mention my own deficiencies in this area. When I was in high school I purposely took debate and forensics in an effort to become decent at public speaking. Thank goodness this was before ubiquitous recording devices and YouTube because I was bad. Legendarily bad. There were times when I could see in a judge’s eyes her longing for a tranquilizer gun to put me down and end everybody’s misery.

The remarkable thing about Snyder’s address wasn’t the expected not-so-great delivery, it was the content. Both Engler and Granholm pretty much gave up in their last terms, but here Rick Snyder seemed to be announcing “I’m kinda done with this” ahead of time!

Especially the infrastructure thing. I know it’s a tough gig with a Republican legislature actively working against him. (Admittedly, drawing him disappearing into a sinkhole probably isn’t helping, either.) But I think this would have been a good time to rally Michigan citizens with some sort of definitive plan! Oy.

I guess what I’m saying is, out of the two farewell addresses I heard in the last week, I preferred Obama’s.

The Amazon TV-series “The Man in the High Castle” explores an America in which the Allies lost World War II and Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan rule over our country. A 2004 mockumentary, “C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America,” considers what might have happened if the South had won our Civil War. These sorts of alternate histories can be highly entertaining and also add perspective to real history through drama and satire.

I’d love to see a take on modern America, and specifically Michigan, if the automobile industry had been allowed to collapse eight years ago. I think it would be fascinating, especially if it used real economic models to extrapolate the consequences.

Of course, the reality was that the auto industry contracted hard, but first the Bush Administration and then the Obama Administration provided cover for survival. And credit where credit is due: It was Michigan autoworkers, from designers in Ann Arbor, to engineers in Detroit, to line workers in Flint (as well as suppliers and fabricators all over state) who contributed mightily to bring it back to its very healthy current state.

That good health is fairly obvious at the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) presently going on in Detroit, and radically different from the NAIAS of 2009. Today we are talking about viable, mass-produced fully electric cars (the Chevy Bolt), a top-level pickup truck (Honda Ridgeline) not built by the big three, and — my goodness — the rebirth of the minivan (Chrysler Pacifica). We even have a major player (Volkswagen) openly confessing its sins and accepting the punishment. That’s progress!

In fact, one of the few similarities between now and then, is the chatter of government intervention. Back then, it was substantial and serious and critical to survival. Today it is randomly generated tweets. If you think about it, that too is progress, and I’m glad not to be in a Michigan of alternate history.