Auchtoon!

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, December 17, 2007

It’s heinously expensive to fly out of Grand Rapids. Mostly it’s Northwest scaring away low cost carriers by undercutting them till they leave. Just another reason to hate flying….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, December 10, 2007

For those of you who may be unaware, Hannah Montana is the latest creation from the Disney media juggernaut that separates kids, tweens, teens, and parents from their money. Her concert tour swept through Grand Rapids earlier this month, selling out instantaneously and drawing frenzied families from Detroit and Chicago and beyond who had gotten shut out of the tour dates in their cities. Crazy. But even as I write this, passing judgment upon fellow parents who allow the marketing machinery to play them like pawns desperate to please their little angels, I reflect on the hours Jane and I have spent trying to score a Wii this Christmas and, well, I have nothing further say about this….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, December 3, 2007

Yeah, yeah… not very nice. But that’s what I liked about it….

(That’s Michigan’s governor, Jennifer Granholm in Hillary Clinton’s back pocket. Granholm was an early and enthusiastic endorser of Clinton to the point of helping her rig the upcoming Democratic primary in Clinton’s favor.)

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, November 26, 2007

1. Like several other states, Michigan has attempted preempt the Iowa caucuses and New Hampshire primary in an effort to become more relevant in determining presidential candidates. Iowa and New Hampshire have, of course, simply moved their events back to remain the first. Politicians, pundits, and party officials have waxed ad nauseam in passionate tones of the importance of all this. Important? Maybe. Stupid and mind-numbingly boring? Certainly.
2. As the longtime home to America’s major automakers, it’s no surprise that Michigan in general (and the Detroit Metro area in particular) has lousy public transportation. Nothing to feel guilty about, really. We hitched our wagon, so to speak, to the automobile world, and it worked really well for several decades. But, hey, if we are going to move forward, we really ought to consider looking outside of Michigan for a public transit model.
3. Peter Secchia is a West Michigan businessman and philanthropist. He has been instrumental the rebirth of downtown Grand Rapids through his money, time, and leadership. Mr. Secchia is also, well, surly. He doesn’t suffer nosy questions lightly, which makes it terrific fun when somebody makes the mistake of asking one.

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, November 19, 2007

We began the year celebrating local boy made good, Gerald Ford, and close the year lamenting local boy made bad, Blackwater founder Erik Prince. This, of course, is painting a very cartoonish picture. Ford wasn’t all good; I’m guessing Prince isn’t all bad. But for the purposes of how it all reflects on our corner on the world, it’s a pretty stark contrast. Amazing how two people can take a God-centered, patriotic, family-value upbringing and then head off in completely different directions….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, November 12, 2007

When certain municipalities and universities try to continue granting domestic partner benefits in the face of a Michigan constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, that’s called whining.

When certain businesses and chambers of commerce try to continue exemptions for various service industries in the face of a new Michigan sales tax increase, that’s called democracy.

See the difference? Neither do I….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, November 5, 2007

Anybody — with the exception pandering Republican presidential hopefuls — will tell you that government has a necessary role in economic development. To me, that role is one of physician: Government is there to encourage healthy growth while performing periodic examinations to check for trouble. Simple enough. The system makes sense and has every possibility of working. No need to stop going to the doctor. (Conversely, there’s also no need let the doctors take over completely. Re: pandering Democratic presidential hopefuls.)

So if there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with the system, what’s the problem for Michigan businesses? Well, they have had (and continue to have) an extraordinarily incompetent doctor. And having reached the age when annual physicals sometimes involve cavity searches, nothing brings that image home like sandpaper gloves…..

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 29, 2007

It’s always a goal to distill my editorial cartoons down to as few words as possible. And every once in a while — when the subject is universal and the supporting image is iconic — I’m able to get there….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 22, 2007

Watching my kids going through the latest round of standardized testing for school these past few weeks, I was inspired by their lack of inspiration. “Did you learn anything at school today?” “Nah, we had MEAPs*….” Sigh…

* Michigan Educational Assessment Program

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, October 15, 2007

Several years ago, I was bought out of an employment contract (which basically means that I was sacked but with a really nice severance). So at the end of that year my little family had a significant hunk of extra income on our balance sheet. Now understand that I wasn’t complaining then and I’m not complaining now, but that income pushed us up a bracket or two tax-wise and THE &$%@^#! GOVERNMENT WAS TAKING MY MONEY!!! I never felt so Republican in all my life….

Just goes to prove what may seem like a decent idea in the abstract can turn out to be devil’s very own work when it affects you personally. Democrats as a whole are perfectly willing to raise taxes. (Just as Republicans are willing to make cuts.) But when it’s your money that gets taxed or your service that gets cut, well, that just ain’t right. “How did this happen?!” is a legitimate question to ask. But be prepared to get “with apparent randomness” as the answer.

Earlier this month, Michigan’s legislature in a crazed flurry to stave off a state shutdown put together a package that applied the state sales tax to certain services heretofore exempt. It is quite an eclectic list: office administration, landscaping, carpet cleaning. It’s also terribly confusing: Why tax skiing and not golf? What exactly constitutes “personal care services”? Why does “warehousing” and “mini-warehousing” both need to be specified? This week’s comic is my attempt to provide some context….

Oh, and the asterisk is meant to lead you to a translation for the Latin phrase. It’s an extra dig at the legislature whose own taxes and services remain untouched.