Auchtoon!

It is not only plausible but entirely predictable that Elon Musk would fire somebody for a perceived insult. This self-styled defender of the First Amendment’s free speech protections has proven himself time and again a vengeful snowflake when it comes to contrary opinions.

However, the logical fallacy I could not resolve in the cartoon is that Musk cannot fire a union worker because he would never employ a union worker. It’s a conundrum.

But you know what? A union worker with any sort of admiration for Musk (or Musk’s preferred presidential candidate) defies all logic, too. So by these bizzarro-world standards, I may just be on solid ground.

I think the consensus on the Vice Presidential debate was that it was startlingly civil. But just because some things were said in measured tones doesn’t mean all that was said was necessarily true.

One particular item that caught my ear was Senator Vance’s assertion that, “25 million illegal aliens competing with Americans for scarce homes is one of the most significant drivers of home prices in the country.”

The New York Times fact checked this: “Economists and real estate experts say that while migration, including illegal immigration, has contributed to population growth and thus demand for housing, it is not a main driver behind the country’s housing affordability crisis.”

I mean, there were several other exaggerations and outright falsehoods, but this fits the unfortunately proven technique of using immigrants as scapegoats to win votes.

And the thing is, for Michigan, more immigration (secure, legal, humanely processed immigration) would actually be a cure for many of our challenges.

Sometimes it’s difficult to trace exactly where an idea for a cartoon comes from. But sometimes it’s crystal clear. For example, this week.

I was reading an article in the Washington Post about how developers in Galveston Island, Texas, are building luxury, waterfront condos in areas unprotected by a sea wall. This, despite the fact that sea levels (particularly in the Gulf of Mexico) are rising precipitously, compounded by more violent storms brought on by global climate change.

Then of course there was all the news about Hurricane Helene, which may or may not have devastated Florida by the time you are reading this. Just like past hurricanes have. Just like increasingly powerful hurricanes in the future will. Swampland handles this well. People living in swampland, not so much.

Meanwhile, I’m hoping to finish fixing the roof of my shed this weekend in preparation for winter. Because I live in a sensible, somewhat predictable place, I don’t anticipate receiving any federal disaster relief money for the effort.

Among the many frustrating things about the current American political landscape is the inability to discuss and resolve actual issues. Case in point, the Michigan House and Senate has, to date, the fewest number of voting days since Governor Gretchen Whitmer took office in 2018. There is plenty of blame to go around for this, but one of the upshots is that another session is likely to close without having addressed the significant problem with the lack of transparency in our state-level government.

It’s truly a bipartisan issue. All those years the Republicans were in control, they didn’t do anything, and the Democrats (justifiably) complained bitterly. But now the Democrats, except for a blip earlier this year, have been in full control and managed to avoid the issue. Hypocritical.

Issues like this should be top-of-list. But they aren’t. Why? Well, when one political party (let’s not be coy — it’s the Republicans) have people at the top of their ticket continuously spewing stupid, dangerous … stuff, it not only steals the headlines, it makes thoughtful people not want to associate with them in any way.

So are there some legitimate concerns in Michigan about what Democrats have or have not done? Certainly. Am I going to line up next to guys who insist on doubling-down on their stupid, dangerous … stuff? No way.

Sometimes I need to assume (and hope) that readers will know all of the stories I’m referencing. I had no concerns about you not being aware of this presidential election thing going on. Nor did I worry that, as Michiganders living in a swing/battleground state, you would have experienced more than your fair share of mailings, messages, and commercials intended to sway your vote. And finally, I was pretty sure you all saw or at least heard about Donald Trump’s torrent of lies in this week’s debate.

What you may not know about is the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ plan to clean up sites around the country contaminated with radiation from nuclear weapons development by shipping the waste to hazardous waste disposal facilities. One such facility is Wayne Disposal in Van Buren Township, which is in the Detroit Metro area.

The Michigan Public article does an excellent job providing all of the details, and it’s not as dystopian as you might imagine. Still, there is always room for concern when something coming to your community can be accurately described as toxic waste. (I’m referring to the radioactive waste, but the rhetorical waste is likely the more pressing danger.)

I was listening to a recent It’s Just Politics podcast, which included a conversation between co-host Zoe Clark and Congresswoman Debbie Dingell. Clark noted that Dingell has been particularly adept at identifying political cross-currents and trends, mostly due to Dingell’s habit of going to where her constituents are and, you know, actually listening to them.

Dingell has been frequenting union halls, and as it turns out, it’s very unlikely that every rank and file worker is going to vote Democrat, despite official union endorsement. This should surprise no one — the days of political machines delivering votes are, blessedly, gone. Ideally, voting is a personal choice, not a group activity.

But as a personal choice, it’s easy to overcomplicate. We go down rabbit holes trying to align politics, anticipate outcomes, strategize on issues. We are usually better off just keeping it simple. So putting myself in a union worker’s shoes, I think I’d go for a presidential candidate who didn’t have a well-documented history of stiffing workers (and customers and creditors and…).

I think the biggest tell that the current Republican Party is no longer the party of Ronald Reagan is its complete lack of positivity. I mean, sure, Reagan went down some dark paths scaring us with stories of welfare queens and godless commies. But he also presented the United States of America as a shining city on a hill and was endlessly enthusiastic about not just our past, but our present and future as well.

Now and for the past few years, the GOP has been so committed to messaging with fear and anger that the sudden wave of happy, optimistic Democrats and their appeal to voters have caught them completely off guard. Worse, they seem incapable of generating any positivity themselves. And specifically in Michigan, their options to find a Reagan-like personality on their team to somehow get that mojo back appears to be, well, limited.

My wife and I just got back from a summer vacation that spanned Michigan locations from Kalamazoo to the Keweenaw, and I gotta say, we live in a truly beautiful state. Sure, the perfect weather helped. But do you now what else helped? The roads. Yep, you read that right: The Michigan roads.

It had been eight years since we took such an extensive road trip, and the roads (particularly in northern lower Michigan and the UP) are noticeably improved. Not just the smooth pavement, but the addition of passing lanes, clearer sightlines, and roadside rest stops made it a pleasure. Nicely done, Department of Transportation and road construction workers!

Geez Louise, I’m so rested and relaxed I’m complimenting government agencies! So you can understand why I’m looking to avoid anything that will harsh this particular mellow. Say, for example, salty old Republican politicians who want to fill me with fear and anger.

I don’t blame them. It’s a proven strategy, and between their presidential ticket and U.S. Senate candidate Mike Rogers, they seem pretty committed to it. But that doesn’t mean I have to let them ruin my summer.

Is it just me or have you, dear readers, also seen a considerable uptick in politics-related email and texts these past few months? It may be related to this editorial cartooning gig, but I don’t think so.

‘Tis election season, of course, but then when is it never not election season?

I could invest some time and try to remove myself from these lists. But I get such a wide variety (both parties, candidates, and nebulous “committees”) that I’m afraid it might cause more harm than good — if it’s confirmed that I’m a sentient being, I may be completely overrun.

Would love to write more, but I have an inbox to clear out.