Auchtoon!

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 22, 2010

’nuff said. Seriously! That’s enough!!!

We hear enough bad things about failing schools and wasted public funds — how about a success story? I submit to you the orchestra program at Grandville Public Schools. Check out these YouTube links that my friend Jim Wildgen posted:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qhF5DMFyS4
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4mV3S4A900
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO7GencAkrI

These are high school kids from a middle class school system. The three selections are from a recent concert, which was actually only a tune-up ahead of their annual competition. You don’t have to be a classical music fan to appreciate how extraordinary it is for a group this size to work together so well. It’s amazing to me. (Full disclosure: That alabaster cellist in the first chair is my daughter Elisira.)

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Family magazine, February 2010

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 15, 2010

As I alluded to last week, my local congressional representative Vern Ehlers recently announced he has no intention of running again this fall. Good for Vern. He’s a physicist by training, and I’m sure he will get much more enjoyment pursuing his scientific interests (Honey, I’m going to build a cyclotron in the basement!) than dealing with a dysfunctional congress. Ehlers is a decent guy — a Republican and fiscal conservative with an open mind, particularly for environmental issues. Or, as the cartoon refers to him, an endangered species.

So it will be interesting to see who wins the Republican nomination, which is essentially the de facto winner for our district. Already there are true bloods lining up to out zealot each other with “I hate government, government hates us” this and “taxes ruin everything always every time” that. Bad for us. Perhaps if Ehlers has something left in his tank for serving his country, he will work toward devising a ray gun that can be used on politicians who follow their party’s line too closely — the beam would stimulate the disused reason and thoughtful consideration parts of the brain back to activity. How about it, Vern? Please?

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 8, 2010

This actually ties in nicely with the recent announcements of some sane/sensible congress folks (Representative Vern Ehlers of Michigan, Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana) to not seek re-election. Yes, yes, the government, the system, the elected officials, the MAN all have a big hand in the dysfunction. But if you are an incumbent with some grasp of reality, would you want to bother trying to convince voters likes this little old lady to do the right thing? Me neither.

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, February 1, 2010

Ha! I was starting to write a horribly convoluted story about technology and vehcile safety and long, gray nostril hairs, but I just realized: I’ve got too many things to do and have too many thoughts distracting me. To continue would likely result in the blog entry equivalent of a car wreck. And that would be ironicish. (See? I’m making up words!) I’m going to go try paying attention to just one thing at a time now….

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, January 25, 2010

Ah, yes. Nine years into our Michigan recession, lawmakers in Lansing are ready to lead us in a bold new direction! *Sigh*

Mark your calendars: Next week Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (February 4, 5, and 6), Grandville High School will be putting on the play, “The Breakfast Club.” It is a stage production of the 1985 John Hughes film. Ellie will be on stage as Alison (the Ally Sheedy part); Natalina is working backstage. Call or email me or Jane for details!

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Family magazine, January 2010

Originally published in the Grand Rapids Business Journal, January 18, 2010

My earliest cartoons revolved around two characters: an angel and a devil. (Someday I’ll get all scanny and post some of these for you.) I suppose it was not extraordinary that as a young Catholic boy I would muse beyond our mortal world and consider how these heaven and hell things might function. It is a little disturbing that I tended to focus more on the hell….

One comic that pops to mind:

• Panel 1: A man is tied to a post and a devil is snapping his bare back with a whip. The man is laughing uproariously, and the devil is angry.
• Panel 2: Devil: “What are you so happy about? You sold your soul, and you’re being tortured?” Man: “Yes, but in I sold my soul for eternal bliss!”
• Panel 3: Man throwing his head back and laughing. Devil: “%@#$* loopholes…”

 A more current thought is this: What if there is no actual “Hell” as a destination point but rather an infinitely long line you must wait in throughout eternity with peppy, muzak versions of your favorite songs playing in the background?

Or, for something more old school — with fiery brimstone and gnashing of teeth — I considered in this week’s comic an eternity of the health care reform debate. Ooo, nasty! And frankly, nobody depicts old school hell like the 15th/16th century Dutch painter, Hieronymus Bosch (the darkness! the eyes! the creepy birds!). Now, why in the, um, hell would I have the imagery of a pre-Renaissance painter floating around in my head, at the ready to use in an editorial cartoon? I dunno. That early (and apparently continuing) fascination with these topics and, more likely, something my parents did wrong. Yeah, let’s go with that one. 🙂

Whatever the reason, the comic germinated when former Grand Rapids mayor John Logie publically suggested that Michigan should consider revamping its constitution (which hasn’t had a good whisking since the early 1960s). I happen to think it would be a good idea. With Michigan at its (hopefully) lowest point, it’d be an excellent time to get ourselves aligned for moving forward. Or it could be a torturous political painfest. Heaven or hell. Fascinating…