Auchtoon!

As summer approaches, my mind wanders. Maybe it’s being conditioned to anticipate summer vacation from school. Maybe it’s the full bloom of beauty that draws one to stop and dwell. Maybe it’s the radiated heat of a sun burnt scalp that causes hallucinations….How was your Memorial Day weekend? Mine was fantastic. I got to go to my kids’ soccer games; drive a convertible; sit on the back patio with Janie, the kids, my sister, brother, and his partner and sip cool drinks; walk the sprinklers around the yard; read; nap; play lightning; swim in the neighbor’s pool. What do you think of when you get pool water up your nose — especially the first time it happens outdoors during pool season? I am instantly transported back to the West Reading pool in Pennsylvania.West Reading is a suburb of Reading, but by most standards it’s a city: a main street surrounded by row homes, corner stores, and sidewalks buckled by the roots of established sycamores. No room for backyard pools, so there is a community pool. We used to go there when I was little, ages birth to five. Mom would pack a lunch, and we’d sit by the wading pool all afternoon. There was a concession stand and sometimes we’d get lucky and Mom would buy us something. I remember the bags of Lance’s brand potato chips that looked sublime. But I would pick a Treasure Chest. It was pressed sugar bits (like Necco wafers) in coin shapes inside a box made to look like a pirate’s treasure chest. You know how food tastes especially good after playing outside all day? Well this wasn’t actually food, I guess, but man! It was delicious! Even the pink ones that taste like Pepto-Bismol.

So like I said, my mind wanders….

And my mind was definitely going on an aimless stroll for this week’s comic. It’s hard really to call it an editorial comic. It’s more of a “John finds it funny when very stern Japanese businessmen say silly things.” Our governor Jennifer Granholm just got back from a trip to Japan to scare up some new business for Michigan. Kind of a cheesy concept, which made me imagine that not all Japanese businessmen (and they are typically men) would want to attend these meetings. Which made me think, what if it turned out to be an Amway presentation? It went from there….

So, hey, I’m going to be taking my summer break from writing. I wish you all a safe and blissfully random summer. See ya in the fall!

Among the many, many sins currently being revisited upon me by my children is my son’s appetite, or more specifically, lack thereof. I was a picky eater, and Atticus is certainly a picky eater. He has a very limited palette — breakfast cereals, certain cookies, hamburgers (plain), hot dogs, carrots, ice-creams (vanilla or cookie-dough), apples, peanut butter, plain noodles, milk, and blue sugar-water. That’s about it. And he typically doesn’t eat much of those at any one time.

Drives me crazy. It shouldn’t because those are pretty much the things I remember having an exclusive taste for. There are some small differences, but they’re nuanced. I was, for example, a Froot Loop man; Atticus is a Lucky Charm guy. But for all intents and artificial flavors, the same.

I don’t know what it is about seeing your own quirky behavior being played out by your own children (Ellie’s reluctance to answer a ringing phone, Lena’s insistence on doing things her own way, no matter how convoluted), but it touches a nerve. You want to fix it, even though in most cases it really doesn’t require fixing. For Atticus and eating, I think it may come from having expanded my tastes. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying asparagus season, and I want to share it. Ah, there’s nothing quite so evangelical (or annoying) as the recently converted….

To my credit, though, I’ve never attempted to force Atticus to eat anything by telling him that there were starving children in China who would love to have what’s on his plate. Probably because I don’t recall my parents ever using that tactic on me. (My Mom *did* dump a bowl of spaghetti on my head one time, but that’s another story.) Besides, I don’t know that the “starving children” guilt-trip ever worked. The obvious answer is always, “Fine. Send them my lima beans. Maybe they can eat them without puking.”

This week’s comic is a twist on that theme. It turns out that as the new generation Chinese experience the benefits of upward mobility, they are less inclined to work in sweatshops. Which could eventually pose a problem for me and Atticus: Who’s going to make the cheap plastic toy prizes that come in our favorite cereals?